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Phuking nice.

Do you think its easy

being so nice.  

You believing I’m weak

Because I return a stolen device.
Why so shocked to learn i made sure a girl got her cell phone back

after i realize the thief  needed a quick jack? 

my god? what’s so wrong with that?
do you think

I’m truly that dumb

that clueless?

 to not see? 

how you all laugh at me?
call me stupid straight to my face?

when everybody is yelling

spewing their anger and rage 

all over the place.
do you really think its easy 

to bring everyone down?

to try and make people smile

while they are tearing others down?
some days i hate you all 

and it wouldn’t take much

to revel in it all.  

yet no one wonders 

ever? at all?

Why i bother instead of saying fuck y’all? 
shake it off 

get called stupid and weak.  

watch as you walk away 

saying i only have myself to blame 
oh the thoughts i have 

as i watch you be so cruel

it’s nothing compared to what i can do

there wouldn’t be anything left

once i was done with u. 
there are those in this world

who can attest to this truth.  

you really should be thankful

that I’m nice to you.  
do not mistake me 

for stupid or for a fool 

as i watch you think 

how easy it is to step on me.

 I’m thinking your a tool.  
she won’t do anything!

she is to fucking nice! 

look i just stole from her and lied to her twice! watch i bet i can get her to give me her only meal! 

see? i told u! all she did was yell!

pfft whatever she’s a stupid girl …

well… hell… 
I’ll be the one waving 

a smile on my face.  

bye felicia 

i tried to help you. 

now… it’s too late. 

The demon grabs hold again
I try and fail in my sin.

The demon laughs while holding me in place.

I thought I beat you!

I scream in his face. 


I thought I won!

I thought I was free!

“Oh dear child 

you’ll never beat me”


His grasp so hard

 against my frame

Losing sight 

my breath 

my name.

 

He picks me up

 and cradles me tight

I can barely see his face

 in my dimming sight. 


Reaching up

 I stroke his face.

Don’t you know i didnt want to fight you in the first place? 


I remember you 

from when I was small. 

You would pick me up

after a fall.


Brush off my knees 

cuddle me tight

 I knew then i would be alright. 

 

I don’t know what I did 

for you to hate me so.  

But I wish you could 

Just let it go. 

 

I know you wont …

and thats ok

I know In my heart …

that I die today .


 But before you kill me

 I want you to know,

 I have always dearly 

 loved you so. 



Each time we fight

Wither I lose or win

All I want is to rebegin


To that time in the past

Before this hatred that’ll forever last.

Before the fire and the pain

Please tell me ,did I ever know your name?


My hand drops away 

from his face. 

I surrender myself

 in his embrace

 

To tired to fight him  

No longer caring 

if I win 

Giving up. 

Giving in..



I lay here fading 

being rocked in his grasp

Giving up my future

Forgetting my past. 


Finally


Peace at last. 


From far away I hear these words


“Oh dear child

We’re not through”

“I have never been angry with you”


“It is with love

 that I draw my blade

I’m trying to save you

Before it’s to late


With love that we battle 

when I let you win

Oh dear child I’m not your sin.”


Im doing now 

what I did back then

I dust you off 

wipe the blood from your chin 


I kiss the oweys on your knee 

Just as I did 

when you were wee.


This time next month 

You’ll have forgotten 

once again


That I am not your darkness

I am your friend.  


One day we will battle

 fighting until the bitter end

 Or until you finally see 

 the truth 

Or we are together 


Finally 


Once again.


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