The Demon..wins..?

The demon grabs hold again
I try and fail in my sin.

The demon laughs while holding me in place.

I thought I beat you!

I scream in his face. 

I thought I won!

I thought I was free!

“Oh dear child 

you’ll never beat me”

His grasp so hard

 against my frame

Losing sight 

my breath 

my name.

 

He picks me up

 and cradles me tight

I can barely see his face

 in my dimming sight. 

Reaching up

 I stroke his face.

Don’t you know i didnt want to fight you in the first place? 

I remember you 

from when I was small. 

You would pick me up

after a fall.

Brush off my knees 

cuddle me tight

 I knew then i would be alright. 

 

I don’t know what I did 

for you to hate me so.  

But I wish you could 

Just let it go. 

 

I know you wont …

and thats ok

I know In my heart …

that I die today .

 But before you kill me

 I want you to know,

 I have always dearly 

 loved you so. 

Each time we fight

Wither I lose or win

All I want is to rebegin

To that time in the past

Before this hatred that’ll forever last.

Before the fire and the pain

Please tell me ,did I ever know your name?

My hand drops away 

from his face. 

I surrender myself

 in his embrace

 

To tired to fight him  

No longer caring 

if I win 

Giving up. 

Giving in..

I lay here fading 

being rocked in his grasp

Giving up my future

Forgetting my past. 

Finally

Peace at last. 

From far away I hear these words

“Oh dear child

We’re not through”

“I have never been angry with you”

“It is with love

 that I draw my blade

I’m trying to save you

Before it’s to late

With love that we battle 

when I let you win

Oh dear child I’m not your sin.”

Im doing now 

what I did back then

I dust you off 

wipe the blood from your chin 

I kiss the oweys on your knee 

Just as I did 

when you were wee.

This time next month 

You’ll have forgotten 

once again

That I am not your darkness

I am your friend.  

One day we will battle

 fighting until the bitter end

 Or until you finally see 

 the truth 

Or we are together 

Finally 

Once again.

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Not Today

Not today.

The world is too much

I feel out of sync out of touch

I can not write no more.

I lost my voice
I had no choice
I had to turtle me in.
I have started to fray

No I am not ok. 

~

People talk to me

~
Don’t they know,?
Cant they see ?

~
I cant find words to say.
At least not today.

~
I need the strength of my friends

Don’t know where to begin.  

They think Im in a mood.

Becoming rude

~

But…..

*

I can’t get online to let them them in.
*

I tried to speak again today

But my words fell away.

I have nothing to say

I tried hard today. 

Shall try again tomorrow

       Ok?