Category: Loneliness


The demon grabs hold again
I try and fail in my sin.

The demon laughs while holding me in place.

I thought I beat you!

I scream in his face. 


I thought I won!

I thought I was free!

“Oh dear child 

you’ll never beat me”


His grasp so hard

 against my frame

Losing sight 

my breath 

my name.

 

He picks me up

 and cradles me tight

I can barely see his face

 in my dimming sight. 


Reaching up

 I stroke his face.

Don’t you know i didnt want to fight you in the first place? 


I remember you 

from when I was small. 

You would pick me up

after a fall.


Brush off my knees 

cuddle me tight

 I knew then i would be alright. 

 

I don’t know what I did 

for you to hate me so.  

But I wish you could 

Just let it go. 

 

I know you wont …

and thats ok

I know In my heart …

that I die today .


 But before you kill me

 I want you to know,

 I have always dearly 

 loved you so. 



Each time we fight

Wither I lose or win

All I want is to rebegin


To that time in the past

Before this hatred that’ll forever last.

Before the fire and the pain

Please tell me ,did I ever know your name?


My hand drops away 

from his face. 

I surrender myself

 in his embrace

 

To tired to fight him  

No longer caring 

if I win 

Giving up. 

Giving in..



I lay here fading 

being rocked in his grasp

Giving up my future

Forgetting my past. 


Finally


Peace at last. 


From far away I hear these words


“Oh dear child

We’re not through”

“I have never been angry with you”


“It is with love

 that I draw my blade

I’m trying to save you

Before it’s to late


With love that we battle 

when I let you win

Oh dear child I’m not your sin.”


Im doing now 

what I did back then

I dust you off 

wipe the blood from your chin 


I kiss the oweys on your knee 

Just as I did 

when you were wee.


This time next month 

You’ll have forgotten 

once again


That I am not your darkness

I am your friend.  


One day we will battle

 fighting until the bitter end

 Or until you finally see 

 the truth 

Or we are together 


Finally 


Once again.


Not today.

The world is too much

I feel out of sync out of touch

I can not write no more.

I lost my voice
I had no choice
I had to turtle me in.
I have started to fray

No I am not ok. 

~


People talk to me

~
Don’t they know,?
Cant they see ?

~
I cant find words to say.
At least not today.

~
I need the strength of my friends

Don’t know where to begin.  

They think Im in a mood.

Becoming rude

~

But…..

*

I can’t get online to let them them in.
*

I tried to speak again today

But my words fell away.

I have nothing to say

I tried hard today. 

Shall try again tomorrow

       Ok?

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