Category: Death

The demon grabs hold again
I try and fail in my sin.

The demon laughs while holding me in place.

I thought I beat you!

I scream in his face. 

I thought I won!

I thought I was free!

“Oh dear child 

you’ll never beat me”

His grasp so hard

 against my frame

Losing sight 

my breath 

my name.


He picks me up

 and cradles me tight

I can barely see his face

 in my dimming sight. 

Reaching up

 I stroke his face.

Don’t you know i didnt want to fight you in the first place? 

I remember you 

from when I was small. 

You would pick me up

after a fall.

Brush off my knees 

cuddle me tight

 I knew then i would be alright. 


I don’t know what I did 

for you to hate me so.  

But I wish you could 

Just let it go. 


I know you wont …

and thats ok

I know In my heart …

that I die today .

 But before you kill me

 I want you to know,

 I have always dearly 

 loved you so. 

Each time we fight

Wither I lose or win

All I want is to rebegin

To that time in the past

Before this hatred that’ll forever last.

Before the fire and the pain

Please tell me ,did I ever know your name?

My hand drops away 

from his face. 

I surrender myself

 in his embrace


To tired to fight him  

No longer caring 

if I win 

Giving up. 

Giving in..

I lay here fading 

being rocked in his grasp

Giving up my future

Forgetting my past. 


Peace at last. 

From far away I hear these words

“Oh dear child

We’re not through”

“I have never been angry with you”

“It is with love

 that I draw my blade

I’m trying to save you

Before it’s to late

With love that we battle 

when I let you win

Oh dear child I’m not your sin.”

Im doing now 

what I did back then

I dust you off 

wipe the blood from your chin 

I kiss the oweys on your knee 

Just as I did 

when you were wee.

This time next month 

You’ll have forgotten 

once again

That I am not your darkness

I am your friend.  

One day we will battle

 fighting until the bitter end

 Or until you finally see 

 the truth 

Or we are together 


Once again.



Last you recall
My husband loved me right
But now he hits me in his sleep
In the middle of the night.
Marriage still open?
You wanna know?
Yup same as always
Just goes to show.
Well. .
Let me continue this tale of mine
Stay awhile, put up your feet.
I was fading fast in the Arizona heat.
Many tragedies n illness
Left me a bed ridden heap.

Not wanting to die yet
Refusing to quit.

I Left town with a plant
my  daughter
Laptop and dog
my wheelchair and a blanket
We said goodbye to tucson
which was strangely covered in fog
Thinking He would be able to grab the rest of our things
all our belongings our everything
Once he arrived from another
month long trip.

A year later. .. zip.

Striking out to a place unknown
Only knowing it would be my new home. To Seattle we drove
My daughter and me.
To the place where I became
Something more. …


Of course there was a price
Hello! It’s me!
•The price is hard

For me to share…
One almost to much to bare
Even though I made it out of that horrid forsaken wheelchair.
I lost my animals, my cars ,
all my money and land.
In order to save…
My brother.
An honorable man.
Every debt collected
Called in every favor known
Even used ” Duchess” that my birthright bestowed.
Leaving me without a single thing
Not even my wedding ring.
Made it past for me to keep
clear and free.
Father heartbroken
He splintered like glass
He blames his only daughter for
leaving him alone to raise his last.
Husband in shock with only me to blame.  His wealth unreachable
Unless he rejoins His family and picks up the reigns.

They don’t see him .

For shame.
Daughter in shock
it had just been she n Me
She panics often
Hates for me to leave

her side

“What happens if you fall mom
have a seizure ?get raped or die? Better stay inside mom
So I can hear if you cry. ”
You gotta let me grow up sometime. I tell her as I race outside.
I run to the forest where I hide.
May this year that was the worst. My van said I did 400 thousand miles
I now need a hearse.
• And keeled over dead

In an intersection of course.
My only baby my beloved Doxie
did as he should.
Tried to protect me and bit someone good.
I sobbed as they took him away
Heart shattered a bit more as they drove away.

as I knew I would never see

My beloved Doxie after that day.
Birthday came.
no presents, No way.
Just my eldest daughter calling
to say yey!
Oh wait. .

I forgot my broken foot

Oh yes. . My birthday was good.
I’m sure you’re thinking
Some pitiful thoughts
Either that or …
man that girl fibs alot!!!
How much shit can you think up girl?

You sad little sop.

Here is where I remind
of my promise to you.

I will not lie to me

nor to you.
Do you see all I’ve gone through? If I can make it?
So can you.
Doesn’t matter what hell
I’ve gone through.

What matters is hopefully


my story will help get you through
your sorrow, your grief, your pain.
Help you stand
remember your name.
You’re allowed to sob
Curse the heavens

To blame. 

But in the end
You must stand tall in triumph
Not shame.
One thing I hope to get through to you now.
Life is hell
it’s ok to get blue.
But I promise

some day

You WILL make it through.
It’s not enough to simply survive
Find one simple good thing each day of your life.
A cloud.
Someone’s laugh
the smell of pie.
One day you will start to trive.
That is when ..
you will truly..

come alive.



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