Three years old

~I found this on my phone the other day, I wrote it 10months ago today. Ive been so ill these last few months, no energy to type one out. I hope this 1 will do until I have the energy 4 something new.~
Luna.

Three years old

Told you are bad,
It’s time to leave

Said from the family
Who paid for me.

Given to a woman
Who when she first saw me
At three days old
Thought, That lil baby,
Is mine.

She thought she was crazy
But she knew in her heart
That I was always hers
From the very start.

So at three years old she came for me
And brought me home
To a new family

No longer yelled at,
fondled nor beaten,
she showed me
Love.
I was always afraid to do wrong, least she took away her love.
But I was xaNex wrong.

I got a new father too
Who taught me about cars
And how to fix a floo.

How to slide off a horses  rear
Shoot a bow
And face some fears

How to ride a bike
And fix a transmission
Do new plumbing
In the kitchen.

To top it off I got grandparents too
Who spoiled me rotten
Like they do.

My grandpa collected coins
With me.
Told me stories
And kissed my skinned knee

My grandma taught me how
To draw, make snowball fights
And dance for the gods

She showed me different herbs to use,
The birds, and animals
And to spot a ruse.

Even tho I thought I couldn’t
Be bad
A better life just couldn’t be had
By a little girl who
Needed love
And found a family
Who fit her like a glove

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Can’t equate it in my head.

MY mother told me
something the other day
I have to admit,
It blew me away.






I've been processing it
for days
Trying to find a way
to equate it in my mind






We all know there is a difference
in the levels of wrong
stealing bread to feed your kids
Stealing for profit and to get away 
with it.





Now you are probably going to think
that I have been dumb
but what I was told
 has made me numb.





This is what She said to me
"I can't believe you were raped
when you were three!"
"Their counselor told them to ignore it
and just let it be!"




I had only known
I was molested before,
so what I had been told
rocked me to the floor.





Then to push me out their door?
say I was bad
and I can't live there no more?





For days now
that new knowledge 
will not let me be.
It's been so hard 
to even sleep.




I should have realized this
years before
but there's a DIFFERENCE in wrongness
as I stated before!



how could I have been so dumb?
why does this 
make me so numb?



Yes I had been raped through out the years
but at the age of three?
how can that 
even be?



MY mother told me
something the other day
I have to admit,
It blew me away.



I can't seem to get it out of my head
I can't seem to find my footing
With all of this.



Trying to find a way
to equate it in my mind
I just can't seem
to make the knowledge 
stay in line.