Category: Adoption story

Three years old

~I found this on my phone the other day, I wrote it 10months ago today. Ive been so ill these last few months, no energy to type one out. I hope this 1 will do until I have the energy 4 something new.~

Three years old

Told you are bad,
It’s time to leave

Said from the family
Who paid for me.

Given to a woman
Who when she first saw me
At three days old
Thought, That lil baby,
Is mine.

She thought she was crazy
But she knew in her heart
That I was always hers
From the very start.

So at three years old she came for me
And brought me home
To a new family

No longer yelled at,
fondled nor beaten,
she showed me
I was always afraid to do wrong, least she took away her love.
But I was xaNex wrong.

I got a new father too
Who taught me about cars
And how to fix a floo.

How to slide off a horses  rear
Shoot a bow
And face some fears

How to ride a bike
And fix a transmission
Do new plumbing
In the kitchen.

To top it off I got grandparents too
Who spoiled me rotten
Like they do.

My grandpa collected coins
With me.
Told me stories
And kissed my skinned knee

My grandma taught me how
To draw, make snowball fights
And dance for the gods

She showed me different herbs to use,
The birds, and animals
And to spot a ruse.

Even tho I thought I couldn’t
Be bad
A better life just couldn’t be had
By a little girl who
Needed love
And found a family
Who fit her like a glove


MY mother told me something the other day I have to admit, It blew me away.

I've been processing it for days Trying to find a way to equate it in my mind

We all know there is a difference in the levels of wrong stealing bread to feed your kids Stealing for profit and to get away with it.

Now you are probably going to think that I have been dumb but what I was told has made me numb.

This is what She said to me "I can't believe you were raped when you were three!" "Their counselor told them to ignore it and just let it be!"

I had only known I was molested before, so what I had been told rocked me to the floor.

Then to push me out their door? say I was bad and I can't live there no more?

For days now that new knowledge will not let me be. It's been so hard to even sleep.

I should have realized this years before but there's a DIFFERENCE in wrongness as I stated before!

how could I have been so dumb? why does this make me so numb?

Yes I had been raped through out the years but at the age of three? how can that even be?

MY mother told me something the other day I have to admit, It blew me away.

I can't seem to get it out of my head I can't seem to find my footing With all of this.

Trying to find a way to equate it in my mind I just can't seem to make the knowledge stay in line.

%d bloggers like this: