They say you control your destiny
But that’s not really so to me.
When your next bite to eat
Lays at the feet of beurocracy.

~

My hope was nil.
Swallowed a ton of pills
Just wanting the pain to still.
I didn’t want to die
But the pain was shredding me up inside.

~

They say you control your destiny
But if that’s true its new to me
What you can do is make the choice
To keep on trying. Keep on fighting.
Or give up. Get numb inside.

~

Its our choices that determine the way.
Choosing to go or choosing to stay.
Our choices wither to keep on fighting
or just give in. Either way we kinda never win.

~

The Gov’t wanted hoops I couldn’t jump through.
I really truly didnt know what to do.
There were days it was just easier to sleep.
Then worry about paperwork that I couldn’t complete.

~

Last year when my salvation came.
I was almost too downtrodden
For me to reach out and claim.

~

I asked my counselor why should I jump through another hoop.
I was just going to not fit anywhere
I was done, tired, through.

~

Just like all the times before
Didn’t see the point in doing so once more.

~

She looked at me and said just try for me this one last time.
if it doesn’t work, we’ll try another line.
This time, i’ll go too.
And if you just can’t do it,
ill be there to help you through.

~

I think I would be dead right now
If I had told her no.
I had spent every day for 3 long years,
just searching a home.

~

But i made the choice
To try once more.
And 3 months later I held the key
to my new front door.

~

Once I had a home,
things fell right into place.
And even now i look around my home
With an awed grin on my face.

~

I’ve only mentioned pieces.
In all the little things i write.
Of the road im traveling
And the things ive had to fight.

~

I don’t tell you all of this
For pity or acclaim.
I tell you all so that you
Dont ever feel alone and shamed.

~

That there is someone out there
Who understands
the pain that you go through..

~

The battles may be different
But we all feel things in an a similar way
And if this girl can do it.
I swear, you can too…
Would it hurt to try, today?

Luna.
8/28/19

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