Alive.

Last you recall
My husband loved me right
But now he hits me in his sleep
In the middle of the night.
~
Marriage still open?
You wanna know?
Yup same as always
Just goes to show.
~
Well. .
Let me continue this tale of mine
~
Stay awhile, put up your feet.
~
So…
I was fading fast in the Arizona heat.
Many tragedies n illness
Left me a bed ridden heap.

Not wanting to die yet
Refusing to quit.

I Left town with a plant
my  daughter
Laptop and dog
~
my wheelchair and a blanket
We said goodbye to tucson
which was strangely covered in fog
~
Thinking He would be able to grab the rest of our things
all our belongings our everything
~
Once he arrived from another
month long trip.

A year later. .. zip.

Striking out to a place unknown
Only knowing it would be my new home. To Seattle we drove
My daughter and me.
~
To the place where I became
Something more. …

free.

Of course there was a price
Hello! It’s me!
•The price is hard

For me to share…
~
One almost to much to bare
Even though I made it out of that horrid forsaken wheelchair.
~
I lost my animals, my cars ,
all my money and land.
In order to save…
My brother.
An honorable man.
~
Every debt collected
Called in every favor known
Even used ” Duchess” that my birthright bestowed.
~
Leaving me without a single thing
Not even my wedding ring.
Made it past for me to keep
clear and free.
~
Father heartbroken
He splintered like glass
He blames his only daughter for
leaving him alone to raise his last.
~
Husband in shock with only me to blame.  His wealth unreachable
Unless he rejoins His family and picks up the reigns.

They don’t see him .

For shame.
~
Daughter in shock
it had just been she n Me
She panics often
Hates for me to leave

her side

“What happens if you fall mom
have a seizure ?get raped or die? Better stay inside mom
So I can hear if you cry. ”
~
You gotta let me grow up sometime. I tell her as I race outside.
I run to the forest where I hide.
~
May this year that was the worst. My van said I did 400 thousand miles
I now need a hearse.
• And keeled over dead

In an intersection of course.
~
My only baby my beloved Doxie
did as he should.
Tried to protect me and bit someone good.
~
I sobbed as they took him away
Heart shattered a bit more as they drove away.

as I knew I would never see

My beloved Doxie after that day.
~
Birthday came.
no presents, No way.
Just my eldest daughter calling
to say yey!
~
Oh wait. .

I forgot my broken foot

Oh yes. . My birthday was good.
~
I’m sure you’re thinking
Some pitiful thoughts
Either that or …
man that girl fibs alot!!!
~
How much shit can you think up girl?

You sad little sop.

Here is where I remind
of my promise to you.

I will not lie to me

nor to you.
~
Do you see all I’ve gone through? If I can make it?
So can you.
~
Doesn’t matter what hell
I’ve gone through.

What matters is hopefully

maybe

my story will help get you through
~
your sorrow, your grief, your pain.
~
Help you stand
AND
remember your name.
~
You’re allowed to sob
Curse the heavens

To blame. 

But in the end
You must stand tall in triumph
Not shame.
~
One thing I hope to get through to you now.
~
Life is hell
it’s ok to get blue.
~
But I promise
somehow

some day

You WILL make it through.
~
It’s not enough to simply survive
Find one simple good thing each day of your life.
~
A cloud.
Someone’s laugh
the smell of pie.
~
One day you will start to trive.
That is when ..
~
you will truly..

come alive.

Luna.

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